rant 1.0

let me just say that where i am at right now i had to work hard to get there. I am real with myself and know who i am and where i came from. I work 12 hour days for the a decent wage. My wife has to work part time herself to scrape together this thing we call a life. We struggle week to week paycheck to paycheck, paying off bills to take care of addyson to be able to be happy and healthy. And that we are happy and healthy. I am fortunate to have my family, who is great. Yes it's hard a lot of times. yes i get miss out on the things that other people have to look forward too. and yeah sometime just sometimes you have to make those hard decisions where someone's feelings will get hurt. and your only goal is to make sure it's not your family that gets hurt.

Do i absolutely love my job. maybe not. Do i enjoy. yes i do. I get to work with fun people and for a company i think knows how to treat its employees. Get a decent wage and make a difference in peoples life, whether its getting them a box of cheez its or driving an hour away to drop off a prescription they need for their grandmother who couldn't make it out.

Do i have a college degree. not so much. But I'm smart. I spend a lot of time to keep myself educated. From reading to my nintendo ds math games. I am still sharp and I could do anything i wanted to do. But the only I have to do right now is to make sure my family is staying a float. Do we have the comfort of family back up. Usually not. Does my family love my daughter and wife absolutely and would do anything they could to help us out. But we fight to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves.

I can see the other side of a coin. I own many shoes to wear to make sure i can see the other side. I can see how people can think feel comprehend. But it's hard to change peoples ideology. But there is one thing I can control. AND THAT IS MY ATTITUDE. That is the one truth i hold dear. I can't stop it from raining. I can't control the traffic. Or how someone sees a situation. But i can control my attitude and be positive and stay happy. Not everyday is a free day at chuck e cheese. but as long as stay positive everything will be ok in the end.

So to say i'm not bitter about anything would be a quasi lie. But i don't dwell on things. Let life happen. Everything i do is just to make another memory. and really in the end that is all we leave this life with. A collection of memories and fond feelings.