erosion

i feel as if with every pass wind the person i am
is slowly fading into the person i never knew. why
this change. why this time. i close my eyes and all
i can see is clouds. thunderstorms brewing.

grains of sand falling off the castle. time and the coming
tide are my only fears. what happened to the person i was.

the interesting. the intellectual. the intense.

can becoming an adult feel this draining. kid things get put up
kid ideas get put down. aspects of pure disappearing into the apparent.
revealing only grainy dillusions of truth.

there is no fairy tale.

we all know that. but feel free to actually believe it.
with imagaginations so vivid how can I not hope
for make believes, and fairy tales.

illusions of love and dillusions of the ever mindful future.
mindful becuase with so many endings which one will it be.


i miss music. i miss friends. i miss walking to school. i miss riding in cars.
i miss the chances to act goofy. i miss not having responsibilities.

what do i do. what do i do when i know i'm changing.

what do you do when the path that were in front fade behind you.

i miss my freshman year.
sitting in my dorm listening to music
reading books and watching the rain



i have enjoyed the rain these past few months.

the morning glazed sky resembles my feelings inside

the sky greening. clouds filling the sky. drops of rain teasing the air



i think i'll just get lost in a song for while

Elipses

alas it's been a while,

but thats all there really is in life, a while

a while before i leave, a while before bed
a while before i do this, a while ago i did that

past tense smears to the present unwitting the future.

ultimately seconds tick away dropping fading molding

the body megerges into what it is, adolensence ~ adultlesence

time is the period between decisions are made. before the senses
fail or the mind agrees. the heart is left asunder.

how long to the breaking point is never really valid for few of us ever break

how long till the heart accepts what the mind knew all along

acid reflux blurry eyes cloudy mind crows feet racoons staring at you in the mirror


when does a decision become concrete, how foolish can one be.

Complacency is never bad. just never that good. too late to be safe when the helmet is already on.

so i move forwards for there is never a chance to go back. Only in fairy tales and movie sets. In the imagination of the mind and the dreams to fall asleep to.

as Lennon would say Living is easy with eyes closed Misunderstanding all you see

I'm open. for all the dirt grit sunshine tears scratches twinkles

I wanna see my destiny. who doesn't. It's all a melting pot. Of wants and needs sacrafices and decisions miracles and disappointments.

swirled around in a see of knowledge one has.

school doesn't need to teach me that. parents don't need to teach me that. friends don't need to teach me that. Life will. and Life has.

they say 40 is the new 20, but what ever happened to just being 20.

Stuck in between a spot where being adult is expected yet being a kid is desirable. Stuck. One letter away from suck. One letter away from Struck.
and when your stuck there is only a 2 ways out. Sucked in or struck out.