Trickery

Love what a crazy thing. How we are all tricked into it's web of deciet and happiness. I state this because love is futile and certain. Why we pursue it when we know that it won't end to our death. Why we continue to love and endure it until it murks our thinking into things that are all not coninsiding with life. It narrows our views and creates situations where bliss and depression are not just interchangable but are independetnly connected. Love creates monsters of us all. In the sense that when we have we will obtain all things to keep it, for when you are without love you are wihtout yourself. LIfe is lonely but life is supposed to be lonely. Without all these considered with faith and the lord above, when you die you are dieing for yourself not anyone else, you are dieing your life and not anyone elses no connections needed if it they are present. I am finding out more and more that you can not count on anything other than yourself. People will inherently let you down because people dont inherently understant anyone other than themselves. I am no stranger to this, the people I let down in a day in staggering, just like everyone else. Life consists of letdowns and recoveries, oh how we can judge our life on the ability to recover from things. Accountability what an easy thing in life to discourage and discredit. How many people a day do we see push onto other that they themselve need to say and show that they are all fallible like all humans. So what does love mean. what does life mean. does it mean the ability to count on someone through faults and failures. does it mean knowing from the get go that that paticular someone will be there from the get go, or does it mean some sort of numbered equation of decimals and remainders till one fits the criteria of being an exception to the rule. if so how many get to reach that exception and how many reach that exception without the ohter party partaking. No matter what if love doesnt work out one part of the party will move on and the other part will stew, for no one will leave a relationship without have some sort of knowledge some sort of clue to easily moving on(having the next in line ready). Someone is going to feel hurt and remose. it's just the way love moves. creating wounds and us having the ability love learn from it, to heal it, to make it sting and stew on feeligns that will not push us any further in life than we can go with a negative atitude and cynical outlook.

This all stems from a friend of mine being in the situation where he can move on, and the other party will no doubitally stew, there are no such things as a commonlaw break up because if 2 people can agree to break up than they should by all means get married. For if they can agree on one major issue than the ins and outs of life and love should be cake to a bakery. And me in a situation all to familiar, where i put faith into people who dont deliver, where I let life and people run all over me, being too nice being too genial being too personable. Inevitably life will let you down, i.e. my ex after a month of me calling her every saturday said she would call me today ( but to what avail, she has moved on and let things go) and she never called. To what suprise, none. SOmeone likes me puts everthing they have into people, into the common knowledge of people will inherently do the best they can and put themselve last instead of first. Like I said though in the end it's just your life, so why not. Why not...beacuse life isn't about forgetting the past. It isnt' about being selfish and ruling out everything in life that can cause trouble or harm. Into tricking yourself that raw emotions are not important. We are all stuck between the unforgetable past and the unrelenting future. Each tugging at your emotions and soul. Each wanting you to pursue things that will not so much appease the present but soothe the parth/future, because the only thing real in life is the now, the everchanging now. Past creeps upon us too fast and the future is an endless amount of ideas flowing towards you unrelenting. Life is full of non linear equations, nothing is as easy as a square plus b square equals c squared. It's all actions and reactions, cause and effects. LIfe doesn't own anything to anyone yet it wont make deasl with anyone ithe3r. but life know swhen to play and card and when to move a pwan.

I end with this, that life can never be full of suprises bvecause if you open up your eyes than you can see the oceans blue adn the winds cut. but life has never made it easy to open up wide, when the wind blows and the sunshines and objects off in the far distant creates distress on thing left to do is squint your eys and move farward hoping that you trust life enough to not pull the land off your feet.