irrational

i'm sure its just an irrational feeling but sometimes you never know
you don't know what the other person is thinking
you don't know what the other person is feeling
you have no idea what motivates them
and everyone is culpable of mistakes and accidents.

once something happens is it ever possible to go back
to think or act as in the way it was before

the mind and the heart is always at struggle for humanity has too many desires
and way too much knowledge.

so thats what it comes to, a guard has to be put up.

It's so hard to change. We're creatures of habit. Eating sleeping peeing thinking
we have to have our routine and our traditions.


maybe its just my bummed out time. I get so cooped up with work and home life.
and i try to not be like that cause it's not fair since adriane has to have the same problem.
I do let her go out and have fun yet its so hard for me to do that.

Just stuck in a groove right now. Revisiting old situations.

Alas here we are

wish i could just close my eyes, listen to music and smoke my hookah...