inspired
i feel all this inspiration to write, it's actually quite accomidating. I'm always on this constant journey of self discovery. I know its some sort of never ending quest, the search for the holy grail, the search for finding true love. Never ending passions never ending trails. But there is something in that last example. That holds true to self discovery. How can anyone know true love with out knowing true love of themself.
I know some of you are going to say having true love in God will help me find my true love on earth. I say not quite, it might help but really i dont think so. Finding true love in god is putting your love into a contextual situation, relatively outside yourself. I love god vees a vee my true love will have the same ideas of god as me. But is it really right to put love in a context. It's not a word you don't know but trying to figure it out. It's a word you know but the meaning is generalized. How can I love someone with out knowing how to love myself. I think that falls into God giving you wht you need and not what you want.
I have to know who I am. why I am. what I am. To know what is right for me. How incredibly hard. It's like hitting a grand slam in the world series 3 balls 2 strikes with 2 outs and bottom of the 9th. Not impossible but however daunting yet incredibly plausible.
Do i think you figure it out than find the person, nah thats to formulaic. And life isn't a formula, it's a cycle. It's cause and effect. A pursuit. That other person falls your way and helps that self discovery. It's an amazing thing, i have to believe.
What does this all mean. I'm not sure yet i know. Maybe i'm afraid to say it. Maybe you can't hear it.
I know a few things about life. I've felt many of them. Experience is the knowledge of life. it can only get you so far though. I don't hate. It's useless and not practical. I hurt but not for long. I dont hold grudges. Doing so makes no sense. I am genial. If thats wrong than what is right. Does all this make me niave. Nah i'm realistic. I have a healthy dose of cynicism. Nice guys finish last. However cliche it is, it is fairly true. Life is forever owed to the assholes and insolent people of this world. I do my best though. And however assumpterous it is of me, i assume the same for others. Love isnt contextual for oh my life is. Life is context and no one can understand the context except for that person himself.
Life is a circus house of mirrors forever skewing the way you see yourself, when all you need to do is use the one in your hand.
It's funny how easy it is to forget in reality all the power we have is in our hands.
I'm aware. but i'm not perfect. I get caught up in the house of mirrors all the time. Sometimes i swear i'm seeing myself. I look so ugly and skewed. It's so disheartening. Than it gets to the point where i can close my eyes and remember that i am in control. I know that everything out there is exactly that out there.
I dont want to say all I have is me, but thats maybe how I feel. Which is why i need someone to help me with this whole God afterthought. (not someone to quote scripture or to try and "save" me) but someone who doesnt just mean well but has perspective.
Really i guess i'm just amazed at how life turns itself up. Everyone ends up where they really didn't think they were going. Doing things they maybe didn't think they'd do. Maybe not everyone but i think mostly. No one can call life like picking the winner of a horse race. but i guess you can bet on it.
I bet you 150 dollars the horse tim zimmerman doesn't get first, but i know he did what he did because thats what he was supposed to do.
cryptic language looking around the lines
i dont want to say the end because there is no end in sight. just a constant struggle and a movement forward. I see the best in people maybe because I can see the best in me.
Maybe i can see the best in people because i can see with my soul and not with my eys.
i prefer the latter, because i dont see the best in me but i know its there. just like you.
and everyone for that matter.
the commence.
I know some of you are going to say having true love in God will help me find my true love on earth. I say not quite, it might help but really i dont think so. Finding true love in god is putting your love into a contextual situation, relatively outside yourself. I love god vees a vee my true love will have the same ideas of god as me. But is it really right to put love in a context. It's not a word you don't know but trying to figure it out. It's a word you know but the meaning is generalized. How can I love someone with out knowing how to love myself. I think that falls into God giving you wht you need and not what you want.
I have to know who I am. why I am. what I am. To know what is right for me. How incredibly hard. It's like hitting a grand slam in the world series 3 balls 2 strikes with 2 outs and bottom of the 9th. Not impossible but however daunting yet incredibly plausible.
Do i think you figure it out than find the person, nah thats to formulaic. And life isn't a formula, it's a cycle. It's cause and effect. A pursuit. That other person falls your way and helps that self discovery. It's an amazing thing, i have to believe.
What does this all mean. I'm not sure yet i know. Maybe i'm afraid to say it. Maybe you can't hear it.
I know a few things about life. I've felt many of them. Experience is the knowledge of life. it can only get you so far though. I don't hate. It's useless and not practical. I hurt but not for long. I dont hold grudges. Doing so makes no sense. I am genial. If thats wrong than what is right. Does all this make me niave. Nah i'm realistic. I have a healthy dose of cynicism. Nice guys finish last. However cliche it is, it is fairly true. Life is forever owed to the assholes and insolent people of this world. I do my best though. And however assumpterous it is of me, i assume the same for others. Love isnt contextual for oh my life is. Life is context and no one can understand the context except for that person himself.
Life is a circus house of mirrors forever skewing the way you see yourself, when all you need to do is use the one in your hand.
It's funny how easy it is to forget in reality all the power we have is in our hands.
I'm aware. but i'm not perfect. I get caught up in the house of mirrors all the time. Sometimes i swear i'm seeing myself. I look so ugly and skewed. It's so disheartening. Than it gets to the point where i can close my eyes and remember that i am in control. I know that everything out there is exactly that out there.
I dont want to say all I have is me, but thats maybe how I feel. Which is why i need someone to help me with this whole God afterthought. (not someone to quote scripture or to try and "save" me) but someone who doesnt just mean well but has perspective.
Really i guess i'm just amazed at how life turns itself up. Everyone ends up where they really didn't think they were going. Doing things they maybe didn't think they'd do. Maybe not everyone but i think mostly. No one can call life like picking the winner of a horse race. but i guess you can bet on it.
I bet you 150 dollars the horse tim zimmerman doesn't get first, but i know he did what he did because thats what he was supposed to do.
cryptic language looking around the lines
i dont want to say the end because there is no end in sight. just a constant struggle and a movement forward. I see the best in people maybe because I can see the best in me.
Maybe i can see the best in people because i can see with my soul and not with my eys.
i prefer the latter, because i dont see the best in me but i know its there. just like you.
and everyone for that matter.
the commence.
posted by Tim Zimm | 11:37 PM
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