Fluster(red).
I'm disappointed. In people. In family. In love. In hope.
My family's attempt at a birthday party was unsuccessful. Everyone shows up late, none caring. No cards to hand over, no second thoughts to make. A hand shake and a dusty smile. Personal life prying and prejudices abound. When did everyone's life become more important than others. A single card from my dad. A week late. A weak late. Coconut on the cake explains it all. Personal agendas and self ideas will overshadow the rest. I hate coconut. They said it was my mom's job to remember those things. Than what's the point of celebrating. No phone calls. No stops by my job, well other than my sister. How feeble is it that she's the only one who made an action. I wonder to myself why have I become a stranger in the house I've grown up in, realization is the dreams you don't remember in the morning. Happy Birthday, a celebration, a fiesta...a fiasco. I play it off like an actor forgetting his lines. Oh no worries, I don't care, no big deal. I'm not that callous to shrug off remembering. No one wants to be shadow. It was my mom's job...I laugh, because it's true. Being Understood isn't half as important as being noticed I guess. Who's fading who. Is there fault to blame. Who can blame fault. I see underneath it all, the love they have what and what they won't do. The same scenario with the same ending. Alone, shadowed, confused. Friends are the close family I once had. No one's fault really.
Life is never really as bad as words. But they hurt the same way. You get what you give. There is no balance. She's the type of girl that makes you remember what love was once like. The encompassing love. The verb, the action. There is no capitalization. We are all products of our environment, shaped by our surroundings, steadfast by our beliefs. Sometimes it takes a real good looking at someone else's beliefs to understand your own. Faith is an important thing.
I don't know where I'm going just as much as I can't really know where I've been. It's weird how the mind can develop a story with brief moments of experience. The catch of a glimpse, flick of a smile, subtleness of a kiss, the warmth of the future cooled by the relics of the past, making the present bearable. I have a vivid imagination it might get the better of me sometimes but I'll choose this before I choose that. That is not important.
I don't pretend to understand people, I try not to hold anyone to a moral stand point. I do the best that I can. and really that is all anyone can do in the brief time we have here. To make mistakes, to fall, to hurt, to imagine, to seek, to solemn, to know, to forget, to naive. I love people and I love the infallibility of them and I don't judge, I don't prejudice, I may be more religious then the religious. I turn the other cheek and move forward. No grudges, no bitterness. Only love. Love for the family who doesn't succeed at a birthday party, love for the friends who don't know what to do, love for the people who have hurt me, love for the people who might not love me back. I put a little bit of my soul in everyone I know. Because I don't want to just touch people, I want to leave an imprint, a piece of me so that I can rejoice in the happy and help the burden of sad. This is all theory, hypothesis of the playing of my life. You can't test a test. You can only test your heart, and know what you can do. what your willing to do, what your willing to not do. Than what you do and sometimes more important what you not do.
No answers. No form. No idea. The mind on paper is letters confused with each other. Don't be the pot calling the tea kettle black.
Hardest thing to go up against in life is reality. I have faith in love. I understand my reality. A few things I can take home is the few things I cherish. Blue eyes are like the waves crashing against the beach never too sure if your eroding it or producing it, only the present is known and all that is needed to be known, the beauty of the blue wave and the ability to get lost in it's gaze.
My family's attempt at a birthday party was unsuccessful. Everyone shows up late, none caring. No cards to hand over, no second thoughts to make. A hand shake and a dusty smile. Personal life prying and prejudices abound. When did everyone's life become more important than others. A single card from my dad. A week late. A weak late. Coconut on the cake explains it all. Personal agendas and self ideas will overshadow the rest. I hate coconut. They said it was my mom's job to remember those things. Than what's the point of celebrating. No phone calls. No stops by my job, well other than my sister. How feeble is it that she's the only one who made an action. I wonder to myself why have I become a stranger in the house I've grown up in, realization is the dreams you don't remember in the morning. Happy Birthday, a celebration, a fiesta...a fiasco. I play it off like an actor forgetting his lines. Oh no worries, I don't care, no big deal. I'm not that callous to shrug off remembering. No one wants to be shadow. It was my mom's job...I laugh, because it's true. Being Understood isn't half as important as being noticed I guess. Who's fading who. Is there fault to blame. Who can blame fault. I see underneath it all, the love they have what and what they won't do. The same scenario with the same ending. Alone, shadowed, confused. Friends are the close family I once had. No one's fault really.
Life is never really as bad as words. But they hurt the same way. You get what you give. There is no balance. She's the type of girl that makes you remember what love was once like. The encompassing love. The verb, the action. There is no capitalization. We are all products of our environment, shaped by our surroundings, steadfast by our beliefs. Sometimes it takes a real good looking at someone else's beliefs to understand your own. Faith is an important thing.
I don't know where I'm going just as much as I can't really know where I've been. It's weird how the mind can develop a story with brief moments of experience. The catch of a glimpse, flick of a smile, subtleness of a kiss, the warmth of the future cooled by the relics of the past, making the present bearable. I have a vivid imagination it might get the better of me sometimes but I'll choose this before I choose that. That is not important.
I don't pretend to understand people, I try not to hold anyone to a moral stand point. I do the best that I can. and really that is all anyone can do in the brief time we have here. To make mistakes, to fall, to hurt, to imagine, to seek, to solemn, to know, to forget, to naive. I love people and I love the infallibility of them and I don't judge, I don't prejudice, I may be more religious then the religious. I turn the other cheek and move forward. No grudges, no bitterness. Only love. Love for the family who doesn't succeed at a birthday party, love for the friends who don't know what to do, love for the people who have hurt me, love for the people who might not love me back. I put a little bit of my soul in everyone I know. Because I don't want to just touch people, I want to leave an imprint, a piece of me so that I can rejoice in the happy and help the burden of sad. This is all theory, hypothesis of the playing of my life. You can't test a test. You can only test your heart, and know what you can do. what your willing to do, what your willing to not do. Than what you do and sometimes more important what you not do.
No answers. No form. No idea. The mind on paper is letters confused with each other. Don't be the pot calling the tea kettle black.
Hardest thing to go up against in life is reality. I have faith in love. I understand my reality. A few things I can take home is the few things I cherish. Blue eyes are like the waves crashing against the beach never too sure if your eroding it or producing it, only the present is known and all that is needed to be known, the beauty of the blue wave and the ability to get lost in it's gaze.
posted by Tim Zimm | 1:31 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home