Elaboration.
Maybe I should elaborate on my last post...actually I will due to the lack of people to talk to.
Sometimes I get so frustrated at myself. I'm getting to a point to where I don't know what to do anymore. I can't really call it depression because it's not, I am by no means so sickened by my own life that I can't function more to the point of I am so disappointed in my life that I'm just down to last nerves. Nothing I ever envision turns out. I go days without talking to my family sometimes friends. (well except a certain few) I choose to go play basketball by myself than to go out. I choose to walk around parks with my ipod instead of being social. There's this notion that inorder to be a philosopher you have to be lonely and I just think it's ironic. I've spent so much time in my head that there's no other place. As the sun hid behind the horizon tonight all I could think about was how nice it would be to jump into the shadows. Become part of the wave length of life. I have this tendency of just putting everything into life, leaving everything out, and keeping so much in.
i dunno i'm just kinda sad...about what I don't even really know. Seems like I should do something but what? What is there left to do. Admit defeat, admit that maybe I'm doomed to a life of tim zimm. An enigmatic character who will always be there but not as it seems. Whereas I'm not in control, maybe thats why I like shadows so much because it's only a faux image of something real. Dark and guiding. At the will of the light. Only to disappear too easily. The guide need guidance. What is the next step. Where do I go from here. Why is such a terrible question to ask. Why is only the given answer to any situation where mathmatical odds are placed . How. Maybe how is the question, how did this end up.
i dunno i'll continue this later....time to go have some human interaction and discuss all that is up with life.
it's almost amazing how all my problems can boil down to degrees of love and relationships.
but really that is everyone.
Sometimes I get so frustrated at myself. I'm getting to a point to where I don't know what to do anymore. I can't really call it depression because it's not, I am by no means so sickened by my own life that I can't function more to the point of I am so disappointed in my life that I'm just down to last nerves. Nothing I ever envision turns out. I go days without talking to my family sometimes friends. (well except a certain few) I choose to go play basketball by myself than to go out. I choose to walk around parks with my ipod instead of being social. There's this notion that inorder to be a philosopher you have to be lonely and I just think it's ironic. I've spent so much time in my head that there's no other place. As the sun hid behind the horizon tonight all I could think about was how nice it would be to jump into the shadows. Become part of the wave length of life. I have this tendency of just putting everything into life, leaving everything out, and keeping so much in.
i dunno i'm just kinda sad...about what I don't even really know. Seems like I should do something but what? What is there left to do. Admit defeat, admit that maybe I'm doomed to a life of tim zimm. An enigmatic character who will always be there but not as it seems. Whereas I'm not in control, maybe thats why I like shadows so much because it's only a faux image of something real. Dark and guiding. At the will of the light. Only to disappear too easily. The guide need guidance. What is the next step. Where do I go from here. Why is such a terrible question to ask. Why is only the given answer to any situation where mathmatical odds are placed . How. Maybe how is the question, how did this end up.
i dunno i'll continue this later....time to go have some human interaction and discuss all that is up with life.
it's almost amazing how all my problems can boil down to degrees of love and relationships.
but really that is everyone.
posted by Tim Zimm | 9:16 PM
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