Skeleton.

Not that I enjoy doing this or even feel the need to post lyrics as a structure for an entry but alas bloc party concert in a week and my thoughts are quite mixed up and mashed all over so here goes....


All my thoughts are all lies
All my thoughts are all lies
All my bones are so tired
All my bones are so tired
So young and so handsome
So easily led
They told me to wait
I said

It makes a man out of me!
You take the fun out of me

And I've been consistent to the fucking dream
And I've paid my dues
Justice is a poor man
Simple man, simple desire

What should i have said?
What should i have done?
The horses are here
The damage is done
So just take off your shirt
And just take off your dress
We can go dancing
On a Saturday

It makes a man out of me
You take the fun out of me

And I've been consistent...

I'm just a skeleton

And I've been consistent...

I'm just a skeleton.


I'm fried. My eyes are burnt, my head is swimming, and my body's sore. School starts in a few weeks, and work is full swing. Friend's are thinning and so are my nerves. Everyone I know has someone by their side, a soul to confide in, eyes to just gaze at. I have numbers on a screen that mean nothing to me. Everything I do is to the best of my ability, i rare short change because I take respect in any endevoure that I pursue. I've spent so much time cirlcing work that once I stepped back I began to see the whole picture. I know I have become a hermit, but the way my subconscience sees it is that when I do go out of my way there are no returns. 20 years of pushing everything else forward no wonder I'm tired. Tired of putting it all out there on the line. Tired of putting emotions into people for no gains. no returns. only apathy. apathy is the bitter taste of life. I have fun, I put a happy face on, I throw my worries on my back. Fact remains is that with a house full of people I feel alone. Maybe that's why my heart is so easily swayed, the second i feel a kindred spirit I become enamored. Is that a bad thing, am I setting myself up for failure. The way I look at it is I give hope a chance. I should know by now what hope brings. A sense of belonging followed by a sense of rejection. The latter being not something i neccessarily bring on myself. That's the whole fallibility of life. Chances are taken, resolutions are followed, the end result is factored so many times that it's not really up to you. Status quo and distance are the bread and butter of life. The ability of keep life exactly where it's at is the black plague of today. Why change when the cost of misery is nothing. vice versa with even happiness.

What am I getting at. What is all these words saying. I just write and any sense that was once there disappears. Life is about taking chances, I guess. (If there was a concrete answer to the life question that could be a plausible answer). Going with something that you don't normally do. Saying something that is not normally said, being with someone that isn't the idea. As much as our mind thinks it knows what it wants, it really has no idea. Your mind can only tell you what you want now, not what you want in the future. It can hint at what you need. Want and needs so similiar they're indistinguishable yet worlds apart. You want something to happen but you really need this. It's so oxymoronic that it creates every problem in life, but thats the best aspect of it. Internal conflict creating external memories. Aspects of the uncontrolable life. Yet what do I do...I give risk a chance. I go out of my box feel uncomfortable get burned and return to safety. Maybe I lack in the pursuit, I hope there is a pursuit. Maybe I lack in character. Maybe I have too much character....maybe just maybe I will be forever doomed as Tim Zimm. Nothing more than nice guy best friend no worries use em up and let em go, Tim Zimm. Lindsay started that mess and it just keeps repeating. I don't really think it's that dire straits but i think it's not agreeable.

More words and more words. Like the hair that keeps growing after you die. I'm not really that worse off. I understand the circumstances of life. Nothing goes according to plan. No possible way to plan the unpredicatable, trust me i've tried. Actually I still try. Hard headed, maybe. Rational, not really. Realistic, absolutely. My heads like a construction work zone too much noise and not enough results. Actually my head is like my life. Which makes sense because your life is only what your head makes out of it. I need an exterior event...,person, to get me out of this funk. This acceptance. Someone who doesn't mind walking parks at night. Who doesn't mind listening to good music while driving around places we've never been. Someone to count the stars. How about some just to hug. Someone to smile about. To talk to hours on end about nothing and everything. With understandings and confusion. To talk philosophy to talk religion to talk life. love and everything else. Connections I guess really all it comes down. Connections and Acceptance. Accept the given or take a risk. Bear through the headache or try an aspirin. How about a change. a charge. a chance. a challenge.


boo